The One Thing

I’ve been making soaps, lotions, body washes & butters a long time, more than 10 years and loved every minute of it. It’s always provided that zen moment in the day that so many crave but don’t often find on the job. Tranquility and work are, to many, exclusive of one another. That’s never been the case with me since going into business for myself full-time rather than as a sideline. The other job was draining in every possible way while my work here replenished that part of me that had been shredded during the course of a day. My job allowed that creative portion of my brain to thrive and that fed me like the richest of foods for mind, body, and spirit.

Then something changed. In last summer and into early fall, I was not feeling my usual self. Off. Something was wrong but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I was tired all the time, easily exhausted, and wound up taking naps almost every day. My back was hurting a lot despite never having any problems with my back in any part of my life up to then. It was aching and deep. Muscle creams did not help for long. Heating pads helped somewhat but who can walk around with a heating pad strapped to their back and hope for a plug to be available everywhere they go?

The back pain became excruciating over time though I’d still put it down to damage done from all the heavy lifting I had to do during the course of a day. I should have known better and seen someone sooner.

Once I finally saw someone over this constant pain it had become serious and turns out it was cancer that had begun in my colon and spread to my liver.

I’m now on a new journey, one of recovery and finding the strength to pay closer attention to what my body is telling me instead of ignoring it to get the daily grind behind me. On this journey, I will take with me gained knowledge and a thirst for more to discover what I can do to improve my approach to work, living well, and how to get over the need to do it all myself and let others help me more because I am NOT superhuman.

I have stumbled, yes, but have not fallen. I have too much to reach for now to stop fighting and will continue to fight every step of the way until I reach the other side of this war. Every step will be an awareness of that one thing that has kept me going through the years. It is That One Thing that keeps me calm, gives me respite from a crazy world, smoothes my ruffled soul, soothes the pain that doesn’t want to end. I have my big, beautiful, loving family and my beloved work plus so much more to motivate me to always keep opening the curtains to each new day and drink it in.

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